Hehe, I ada pembaca baru, Khairul Neezam. And he has some questions for me:
What if your inside (your heart, you) is determining your outward sexual orientation? Can your argument still stand? What I’m saying is, if you decide for yourself what your sexual orientation is, is that somehow against the will of God? Does every religion come with a set of rules?
And if this is a form of test against “nafsu”, why does the change of sexual orientation even have to start? Does this mean the battle (or “jihad”) failed?
For your first question Khairul (or should I call you Neezam), let’s view this hadith which I am sure you are familiar with:
‘Every new-born child is born in a state of fitrah. Then his parents make him a Jew, a Christian or a Magian, just as an animal is born intact. Do you observe any among them that are maimed (at birth)?’
So in short, I would say being gay is indeed a choice. Or some people call it a ‘lifestyle’. No child was born gay. But some would say, “Ouh tidak! It’s in the blood. It’s the genes”. (Whatever gerl, you’re still gay).
For me, I realised I am gay when I was very very young. Even before I entered primary school. Tak tau lah, genes or preference. I would gawg at sexy cute men, lurve to watch hot men, queening around. I am loving myself. I doa selalu, that God will never change the way I am. I do not want to move up or down the sexualityscale. Meaning I don’t want to be a dragqueen, nor straight. Neither extreme.
Walaupun begitu, I jugak doa supaya direndahkan pandangan (meaning no more gawging, insyaa allah), dijauhkan diri dari bisikan syaitan dan nafsu. Sebab I believe now that being gay is my lifestyle, tapi still I cuba sedaya upaya patuh pada perintah Allah supaya jangan dikalahkan syaitan. “Sesungguhnya Syaitan itu adalah musuhmu yang nyata”.
Ok Khairul, your next question ada kasi kepala I pusing sikit. Are you gay? Are you not? Gay is not something that you want to be after an incident or any turn of event. Not in my case, and I’m sure the sisters out there will agree. So there is no such thing as ’start’, though there might be an ‘end’. Lagipun jihad is ongoing selagi kita hidup di bumi Allah. It doesn’t matter if nafsu kita cendorong kepada lelaki atau perempuan, jihad nafsu berterusan sebagai jihad paling besar.
Or do ye think that ye shall enter the Garden (of bliss) without such (trials) as came to those who passed away before you? They encountered suffering and adversity, and were so shaken in spirit that even the Apostle and those of faith who were with him cried: “When (will come) the help of God?” Ah! Verily, the help of God is (always) near! AlBaqarah ayat 214.
That is all I have to say. I am not preaching!
PS: If you want to know what Khairul and I are discussing, read my previous post dated September 12th: “I’m a Muslim.. and I’m gay”:
Tags: gay, gay muslim, islam, muslim, queer muslim
September 18, 2008 at 5:11 pm
Hello again!
You’re right to say no one was born gay. God didn’t make anyone gay. I’m not very well-versed with Islam ah, or in fact any other religions, but I think God is an idealist. He essentially created space for only two genders, male and female.
I understand your point that being gay is simply a sexual orientation. And I’m impressed you’re doing your very best to stay true to Allah. But when you say being gay is a “lifestyle”, do you mean that it is associated with gender as well? I feel like it’s a grey area, so how would you define it?
Why do Muslims say being gay is sinful? Was it written in the Quran so? If it is, then wouldn’t it be the teachings of Allah to avoid being gay? I mean being straight is already pretty much sinful, and in religious terms, being gay would be doubly hard and sinful. Being one would defy his “orders”, and if we defy his “larangans”, how do we expect to be forgiven? Adam defied His orders, and look what happened to us; stripped of our essence. What is your take on this?
I was thinking that the “jihad” is actually the battle between realising you’re gay, and emerging out of that phase (ending the phase). Maybe it’s a test for you and the others out there like you. What do you think?
And yeah, I agree with you on: If girl+guy can get cosy, make out and such which is by right sinful in Islam, why do majority of people tend to ignore/take lightly this problem? Why would it be any different for gays then? I guess it is each’s own “jihad” to fight.
I kinda understand what you’re driving at, and what your take is on this topic. But I’d still like to tie a few loose ends as posed above
Sorry to take up your time ah. I think it’s important to understand the people around us.
September 18, 2008 at 5:16 pm
[...] The author replied! Power man, he gets my respect! See his clarification here. [...]
September 19, 2008 at 4:39 am
Very well vered..Aee kudos to you. It does open up my mind and heart somehow…Thanks.
September 19, 2008 at 4:39 am
I mean….versed
correction to the earlier comment